


Calm Before the Storm

by dinui_parjai



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Original Trilogy, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy, Star Wars: Battlefront (Video Games), Star Wars: Rebellion Era - All Media Types
Genre: F/M, Family, Family Bonding, Family Feels, Family Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-12
Updated: 2020-02-08
Packaged: 2021-02-27 07:01:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 13,155
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22222969
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dinui_parjai/pseuds/dinui_parjai
Summary: Iden Versio didn’t regret many things in life. She felt guilt for some things, but ultimately found comfort in the fact that the Rebellion prevailed.Del Meeko would feel guilty about serving the Empire for the rest of his life. There were many things he felt that he just didn’t deserve.Both of them can agree that this was a surprise neither of them could regret.(Every chapter is a paragraph of the first chapter, since it was originally a oneshot I expanded on.)
Relationships: Del Meeko & Iden Versio, Del Meeko & Iden Versio & Zay Versio, Del Meeko & Shriv Suurgav, Del Meeko & Zay Versio, Del Meeko/Iden Versio, Iden Versio & Shriv Suurgav, Iden Versio & Zay Versio, Shriv Suurgav & Zay Versio
Comments: 7
Kudos: 19





	1. Storm

Del Meeko regretted the Empire. He regretted everything to do with it.

But even after a fit of anger, he always had to remember that if not for the Empire, he would not have met Iden.

So on that day when the Empire fell, when Del pulled her from the escape pod and out into the Jakku wasteland, he had known that he was done regretting everything. Instead, he was going to marry Iden.

For three years, she refused him. Not anything with him, no, just the talks of marriage he often and cleverly worked into their daily lives as friends and partners and something more. 

Then, one night above the Corvus, the two of them were looking out the viewport and into the stars. No particular reason, just for the nice view for the peacefulness of it. 

The crew had left the ship on autopilot. They did a lot of that now, autopilot. The Corvus wasn’t a warship anymore. It was now a cargo vessel.

But that was besides the point. That day, looking out over the galaxy as they cruised along, as he and Iden held hands, Del asked her again to marry him.

In truth, Iden wasn’t sure why she kept refusing him. She definitely loved him, in a way she’d never felt for anyone else. Maybe she always felt like he was too brash, that they hadn’t known each other long enough. But, whatever the case, she said yes this time, and he gathered her in his arms and kissed her, just like he had that day when he’d looked into her eyes and realized that he loved her.

That was years ago.   
  
Now they shared a life. Not just a ship and living quarters, but every waking moment was theirs to spend together if they so wished. 

But Del and Iden both felt... incomplete.   
  
Del had brought up the topic first, a year into their marriage and wondered how she felt about having kids. Iden had blanched. The thought of children had hardly ever crossed her mind. But, after a few years it became apparent that Del wanted them so badly. 

So they tried to have a baby.

A year passed.  
  
Two.

Halfway through year three, they became pregnant only to lose the baby a few months later. That had sent Iden into shock- how could she have lost a baby? She’d done much more complicated, dangerous things than that, but here she was, unable to support another human inside of her.

”Maybe it’s just not meant to be.” Del said one night after it had happened. “It’s not either of our faults, it’s just not meant to be.”

That had hurt Iden. To hear the pain in his voice. And she began to feel guilty no matter what he said because force above, how could she not give the man she loved the _one thing_ he wanted with all of his heart?

Nevertheless, they decided that no, having a child was not something they would be able to do. So they quit ‘trying’, they just began living again. Every day, the same thing- waking up, transferring cargo, eat, sleep. Every once and awhile they’d get a call from Shriv, who tried to convince them to join the Resistance. 

With no baby in the way, Iden wanted to agree. But she noticed her husband, ten years her senior, and she knew she had to refuse because he wouldn’t. He would follow her. Del Meeko, that reckless fool of a man would die for her if she as much said please and smiled, had followed her across the galaxy and loved her even if she couldn’t give him a family.

So they continued to live as a normal couple, still silently holding out hope for a child of their own, because no agency would be foolish enough to allow them to adopt a child only to have them live with nomad parents.   
  
Then, just when things seemed hopeless a miracle happened.

At first, lden was discouraged by the fact that her monthly cycle seemed to have stopped. She was around that age, and even though her hair was still brown and her body was still strong she knew that it was time to move on, that a baby had just not been in the plan.

Then, oddly enough, she began to feel... different. And when she finally fessed up to the med droid, expecting to be told that there was something wrong with her, that she was just getting old, and was told that no, she wasn’t sick, wasn’t old, but that she was pregnant, she somehow knew that this time wouldn’t end badly. 

She didn’t even mind either. She was approaching forty years old, Del was nearly fifty but looked even younger than her. It wasn’t unheard of.

At first he didn’t believe her when she told him, after three months had passed and it was highly unlikely that anything could go wrong with the pregnancy. Then, _finally_ , when she’d pressed his hand to her stomach and he felt the baby kick did he realize that she wasn’t lying, that he, Del Meeko, was a father. 

Not too soon after, their daughter was born, and Del had decided right of the bat that this baby was so much Iden’s that she was going to go by her name, not his.   
  
Zay Versio. 

Del held her first, as Iden was still asleep from the anesthesia used for the c-section. For whatever reason, at the last moment before Iden had gone into labour the baby had flipped, and a small part of Del was relieved that the baby had been easily delivered in thirty minutes instead of the better part of thirty hours, as he had heard it sometimes went.

Zay would not stop crying, even when he held her. But Del didn’t mind. At least she was healthy. 

When Iden woke up, it was as if a switch had flipped because Zay suddenly became the perfect baby for her- silent and cuddly instead of loud and fussy. But again, Del didn’t mind.   
  
Within a day, she had him wrapped around her pinky finger. 

Months later, when she said her first word, it was ‘dada’. When she stood up and walked, it was into his arms. Who did Zay want to be when she grew up? Dad. Who made the best food? Mom, actually. Del couldn’t cook to save his life.

The fifteen years that he was able to spend with her were the most precious of his life.   
  
When the day came that Del was looking into the blaster of Gideon Hask, he knew he was going to die. And once he’d said all he needed to, he thought of Iden when the first shot went through his chest. 

When the next shot went through his head and he fell, he thought of Zay.

When Iden’s turn came, it didn’t matter that she and Zay had more often than not butted heads over simple things, fought when there was no need to. No, all that mattered was that Zay was here, now, and Iden could die in her daughter’s arms and tell her that she was proud. Oh, so proud....

Iden didn’t regret a thing as she died. Neither did Del.

And somehow, Zay had exceeded her parents wishes and learned that she wouldn’t, either.


	2. Rain

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I’m taking apart the first chapter of this and expanding on it. First part is based off of:
> 
> Del had brought up the topic first, a year into their marriage and wondered how she felt about having kids. Iden had blanched. The thought of children had hardly ever crossed her mind. But, after a few years it became apparent that Del wanted them so badly.

Iden and Del had always done things simply. That was why there was nobody at their wedding except Shriv, because captains had the ability to marry people and all that.

He’d been quick to turn the tables on them, however, and reminded them not to be too loud on their first day of man and wife. To which Iden shot something just as crude back that left Del flushing red.

They didn’t have a true, official honeymoon. Partly because their whole life seemed to be one, now, when all they did was deliver cargo and trade and live good, meaningful lives free of combat.

Without fail, anytime they made a stop in a nearby town, Del would do the talking. He was good at it. All Iden tended to do was get impatient. Usually it was aimed at Del, though, because he always took too long and she was left alone on the ship.

Today was one of those days.

“Del, where are you? It’s been an hour!” She yelled into her comm.

A crackle, then, “sorry, Iden I-“ Iden was surprised to hear him make an “oof!” sound as if he was being hurt. But he didn’t seem hurt. No, he was laughing.

“What’s going on over there?”

“Nothing, nothing!” Del said and then yelped. “Careful with my back, please!”

“Who are you talking to?” Iden’s eyes narrowed.

“They came out of nowhere, Iden! A whole group of them and I couldn’t stop- Ah! Help me!”

“A group of who?” Iden was gripping the holotable and half prepared to rescue him if need be.

“Chi-“ Del began but was cut off. More static, and he was gone. Members of the crew looked at her expectantly and she just rolled her eyes. “I’ll go get him.”

She stomped down the bridge of the Corvus, marching towards where Del’s last comm signal had come from. He’d been delivering to a local Refugee camp, one that they frequented and whose leaders knew their names.

She rounded a corner and was met with quite a sight.

A gaggle of younglings, some no older than four years old, were all clustered and climbing on top of something. No, not something, Iden realized when the mountain began to move. Someone.

Someone in a very familiar red jacket.

“Iden! Oh, thank goodness, you’re here to rescue me!” Del said as his eyes met hers, green on brown, from beneath the feet of one child. The once-feared, ex-Imperial commando, now reduced to a child’s jungle gym.

Who would have thought?

Del pushed himself up on his hands and three of the children tumbled off, and even though Iden cringed, Del just laughed as the younglings sprang right back up and tried to jump back on. Del simply stood up and began walking towards her, even as a child clung to his left leg.

“Are you enjoying yourself, agent Meeko?” Iden asked as she shifted her weight to one foot and raised an eyebrow, in a stance that let Del know that he was in trouble.

“Quite so, commander.” He said, right as one of the young humanoids head-butted him straight in the gut after he took two steps towards Iden. Now, she and Del had been taught to control being hit to where they’d never get the breath knocked out of them, but this seemed to be an extenuating circumstance that Del had not prepared for. He oofed again and fell back onto his bum, allowing himself to be tackled once again.

Part of Iden wanted to yell at these kids to leave him alone. It was time to go, and this was a waste of time. But she took a step back and realized that these kids loved him, had began to associate him with their monthly shipments of clothes and food and other materials that contributed to their being well looked after in the orphanage.

The other part of her wanted to watch, maybe even join in. Sure, Del was several years older than she and probably shouldn’t be rolling around letting his limbs be pulled at, but she knew firsthand how strong he was.

However it still shocked her when he rose up in a push-up position with four giggling younglings on his back. Sweat dripped from his brow, and there was clear strain on his face and in the shaking of his hands, but he did it. And Iden had to say she was impressed.

Then the last and biggest child began to climb on and Del collapsed, using his arms to hide his face. For ten seconds, he didn’t move, and Iden actually began to worry. So did one of the little girls, who climbed off of Del’s back and knelt at his head, poking the top of it with a finger.

Her husband’s head shot up with a cry to imitate what must’ve been a monster from one of their children’s stories as all five of them scrambled away, laughing. A young boy ran over to Iden and before she could stop him, hid behind her legs.

When Del was finally on his feet again, he leaned over to rest his hands on his knees. “No more.” He breathed, waving his hand when one of them threatened to jump on him again. “I’m done for today.”

A chorus of “aww!” came from the children but they respectfully backed away, which again surprised Iden. Finally, her husband walked toward her with a sloppy grin on his face, but his eyes betrayed how tired he was.

“So this-“ Iden gestured to the group of kids behind him. “This is what keeps you?”

“Oh, yes. Every time.”

“You must be getting sloppy, then.” Iden said snarkily, shoving him with an elbow.

“Oh, you want to go? I’ll take you anytime.” Del’s eyes gleamed for a moment with the suggestion but quickly returned to normal. When they reached the Corvus, Del stopped on the ramp and gestured back toward the center of the refugee camp, to the orphanage.

“Do you think we could have one?” He asked.

That stunned her. “What? Us? Adopt a kid? I doubt that would be allowed. And besides...” Iden trailed off at the look in his eyes. “Oh. You mean-“ her hands subconsciously went to her belly.

“If you want to.” Del quickly stammered. “I mean- I want to. I know that. But if you don’t, it’s really okay, Iden. Don’t worry about it.” He brushed by her and made his way up the ramp, flushing somewhere between disappointed, angry, and embarrassed.

“Del-“ Iden said, annoyed that he had left her like that. She rushed back up the ramp and followed his long, quick footsteps back to their living quarters. “Del Meeko!”

She rarely used his full name. But right now she was a bit miffed. He couldn’t just bring up something like that and walk off! Sure, she had blanched, but that didn’t mean she was opposed by it.

“Let’s talk about this.” She suggested, catching him as he began to undress, starting with the red jacket that he had grown to love. It was folded in half and laid across a chair.

“What’s there to talk about?” He asked. “I didn’t mean to make you upset. End of story.”

“Del...” Iden warned, as he stripped off his sweat soaked shirt and pants. They went to the corner to be cleaned later. Wearing only his shorts, Del closed the ‘fresher door behind him and left her there, seething.

Iden had no problem with kids. Sure, she wasn’t the most patient woman alive but she truly didn’t mind them. But having them? The idea just seemed... odd. Iden couldn’t imagine herself ever being pregnant. Growing another human inside her just sounded... wrong.

Sure, she and Del had slept together before knowing full well they could possibly create a life between them whether they meant to or not, but she’d always religiously taken the hypo shot every year and thus eliminated 99% of the worry.

 _What if I just... didn’t one year_? She wondered, standing there and pacing the room.

She felt a shiver go through her spine at the thought. But, once again, Iden took a step back and looked at it from Del’s point of view. He was ten years her senior, making him nearly forty years old. Some men were grandfathers by that age.

 _He’s not got as much time as you._ A cruel part of her mind played with her.

“I said we would talk about it!” She said aloud to herself. But then she wondered if there was truly anything to talk about.

She sat down on the bed until Del re-emerged from the ‘fresher, wiping down his wet hair with a towel that he hung on his shoulders. “Well?” She asked.

“Well, what?”

“Let’s face it, Del. No sane person would let us adopt a kid and bring them aboard the Corvus. If we wanted a kid. IF-“ she reiterated. “If we want a kid, it has to be ours.”

“I know you don’t want to ever be pregnant, Iden. And I already told you I’m sorry for asking.”

“No, wait.” Iden shook a finger at him. “I never said that.”

“We wouldn’t be good parents, anyway.”

Those words stopped her. Del was thinking about their parents, about Admiral Versio, about their pasts as assassins and soldiers and the opposite of those who should be with children.

“Where the hell did you get that idea?” She wondered.

“I’m not sure.” He shrugged. “But I think we should talk about this some other time. I’m too tired.” He tossed his towel to the side and laid back on their bed and closed his eyes.

“Del...” Iden began, but then heard his breathing slow as he turned onto his side. A snore escaped his lips.

He was asleep.

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

Months later, Iden found him perched on a stack of crates inside the Corvus’s hangar. It was one of his favorite places to be, reminiscent of the day they had both defected from the Empire and left Hask behind.

“Hey.” She said.

“Hey.” He responded, offering her a hand. She took it and used it to climb up and settle beside him. Her head went to his shoulder automatically as they watched hyperspace outside the ray shielded interior.

“Remember when you used to come hurtling through that in nothing but your armor?” He asked, smiling slightly.

“I remember the first time at Ja-Bess I was out there for too long and you carried me to the ‘fresher and tossed me into the shower on the hottest setting. Oh, Hask was pissed. Went on and on about how it ‘wasn’t proper’ and all that crap.”

“He just wanted to be in command.” Del said lightly and Iden hummed in agreement. “I wonder what he’s doing now?”

“Moping, probably.” Iden answered. “Because his life is miserable compared to ours.”

“It’s just me and you.” Del said, and gave her a winning smile.

“Just me and you.” Iden repeated, but a smile tugged at her lips. Del noticed and scoffed a bit at his wife. “What is it?”

“There’s something you should know.” Iden lifted her head from his shoulder and turned so that they were face to face, sitting cross legged while he hung a leg over the side of the stack of crates.

“Oh? What is it?” He wondered.

“I just think you should know that today is the first day in galactic history that I believe I get to tell you that you, Del Meeko, are wrong.”

“Wrong about what?” He wondered. If Iden was admitting that he was wrong about something; then he was in a lot of trouble.

“It’s not just me and you.” She said.

“Oh, of course. We’ve got Dio, too.” Del gestured to her back where the droid so often rested. “And the crew. Can’t forget all of them.”

“Nope, you’re still wrong.” Iden shook her head, grinning as she bit her lip to hide a smile.

“Okay, what is it?” He asked.

Iden wordlessly placed a hand on her abdomen, below her waist but between her hips. “We’ve got this one, too.”

It took a second, but Del’s eyes widened. “You mean-“

“I began skipping hypos after we talked about kids that one time.” Iden gave a small shrug. “It finally happened.”

“Wh- Iden-“ Del stuttered, nearly falling from his perch. “Iden, this is so wonderful!” He exclaimed, boyish enthusiasm lighting his features.

“I know.” She agreed, and when he jumped down from the stack of crates she followed, but Del didn’t allow her to touch the floor before he caught her in his arms.

“Del, what is this?” She asked, but he just laughed and spun her around.

“We’re having a baby, Iden!” Del exclaimed, loud enough that it echoed. He stopped spinning long enough to grin at her. “You’ve just made me the happiest man alive.” He decided.

“And you’ve made me sick.” Iden said teasingly, just to see how he would react. Truth was, she hadn’t been feeling bad at all, which was why it had come as a total shock to her when the med droid told her she was expecting.

“I love you so much, Iden.” Del said, and he fell to his knees in front of her to press his face against her stomach. After a few moments (Iden didn’t have the heart to tell him that nothing was going to be able to be felt yet), he straightened.

“Is this really happening?” He asked.

“Yes, you dolt. It is.” Iden repeated, and pulled him in to kiss her.  
<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

For what seemed like forever, Iden and Del lived in absolute bliss. Or rather, Del floated on clouds while Iden spent nights sleepless and meals appetite-less. But neither of them would have had it any other way.

Iden didn’t bat an eye one day when the odd cramping in her pelvis became more severe, when the spotting and the discharge was a bit heavier than usual. She was just nearing thirty weeks, a milestone that would mean her pregnancy was nearly over and they were that much closer to meeting their little boy.

She also didn’t find it odd when she was actually able to fall asleep. Two nights in a row- because their baby boy wasn’t up to his usual kicking and she was able to get comfortable.

Then, in the middle of the night, her eyes shot open when an incredible, tear-gathering pain shot through her middle and upper back. The kind of pain she hadn’t felt since her crash on Yavin all those years ago.

“Del.” She shoved his shoulder as she turned on the light. “Del. Del! Wake up!”

He groaned.

“Del. Wake up.” The pain came again, and it was then that Iden noticed the red stain on the covers. “Del!” She cried, gripping his arm so hard her nails dug into his skin.

That woke him up. He sat up with a start, and when he looked over at his wife, in tears, he knew that something was wrong.

“Medbay.” Iden gasped, between pained sobs. She held out her arms and he didn’t hesitate, just slid an arm under her shoulders and knees and sprinted. By the time he got there, Iden’s blood pressure had skyrocketed and she was struggling to breathe. He didn’t leave her side as the medic droid took over, putting a mask over her face and several other tasks until it whisked Del away.

At least she was stable. As he paced the room outside, Del finally realized what was happening. The implications for Iden and the baby.

He knew if she was put on bed rest for the rest of pregnancy she may die of boredom, and he’d have to keep her cuffed to the bedframe. The idea seemed strangely funny, and a grieving Del laughed breathlessly.

He had finally managed to sit down when the droid came hovering into his waiting area. It wasn’t alive. It showed no emotion. None at all as he informed Del that his wife would be fine.

Del breathed a sigh of relief until he realized the droid wasn’t finished.

“She lost the baby.”

“What?” Del demanded, as life around him stopped moving.

“Placental abruption.” The droid went on, as if it was the most obvious and casual thing in the world. Del shoved past it, sending it spinning, and rushed to Iden’s side.

She slept for a few more minutes. Then her hand gripped Del’s and her eyes fluttered open. “Del?”

“I’m here.” He said, trying for a smile.

Like a cruel joke, Iden’s belly bump was still prominent under the sterile white covers of the medical bay. Her hand went to it.

“Is he alright? There was blood, and I felt like I was having contractions.” She paused when she saw Del’s Adam’s apple waver in his throat.

“We lost him.” He said, lifting their joined hands to wipe tears from his eyes.

“What?” Iden asked, and her other hand went to her belly as well. “What do you mean? I can’t have-“ Iden’s words faded when she realized that up until this point, she hadn’t felt the baby move.

“He’s gone?” She whispered, and when all Del could do was nod, she laid back numbly on her pillow, not doing anything or saying anything.

Even more cruel was the fact that she had to go on to deliver a dead baby. Iden and Del even chose to hold their little boy, their Chaol, even if he was much too small, and his eyes would never open and his skin would never be anything but blue. It was what should have been a happy moment. If Iden had realized what was happening on that first night, they may have been able to save him and he would have been just a few months premature.

When Del returned to their room, to shower and dress and prepare for Iden’s return, he saw the blood stain on Iden’s side of the bed, and for the first time that terrible day-

He broke down and cried.

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

It just wasn’t meant to be, they decided in the months following what could be considered their son’s first and last birthday.

Del’s eyes had changed, Iden noted to herself. They were dimmer, and he wasn’t talking as much. His movements- both of their movements, really- became robotic. They hardly even spoke to each other.

Until one day Iden couldn’t take it anymore and she cried in Del’s arms that night, blubbering about how she was sorry, and sad, and she understood if he couldn’t love her anymore since she couldn’t give him the one thing that he wanted so bad.

“I can fly ships.” She sobbed. “I can lead soldiers into battle and speak several languages. I survived a fighter crash and two galactic wars- but I couldn’t keep a baby alive inside of me?”

Wordlessly, Del held her and leaned his head into her shoulder. Over the past three months he hadn’t shaved, and his new beard hadn’t even been brought up yet. It was almost as if she didn’t notice.

“I’m so sorry, Del.”

He didn’t want to acknowledge her, because if he responded wrong then he knew she would continue to blame herself.

“I should have known something was wrong.” He whispered. “This is my fault too, Iden. Maybe it just...maybe it just wasn’t meant to be. Maybe we aren’t ever supposed to have children.” He took a breath. “Maybe we shouldn’t have tried. I don’t know, Iden. I really don’t know. But I’m sorry, too. I’m sorry that I put you through this.”

She went silent after that and he held her some more, past midnight, until they finally slept.

Maybe it just wasn’t meant to be.


	3. Break

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> With no baby in the way, Iden wanted to agree. But she noticed her husband, ten years her senior, and she knew she had to refuse Shriv’s offer because he wouldn’t. He would follow her. Del Meeko, that reckless fool of a man would die for her if she as much said please and smiled, had followed her across the galaxy and loved her even if she couldn’t give him a family.

“We could really use you guys.” 

Iden had heard that one before. Not just from Shriv, asking her and Del to rejoin the fledgling Resistance. Other friends of theirs tried it, too.

“I’m sorry, Shriv. But our fighting days are over.” Iden said, looking towards the bridge of the Corvus where Del discussed something with a crew member.

“That’s what everybody says. Then you get old men like me leading things.” Shriv’s face fell in a unique Duros way and he shook his head and tried again. “We need pilots, especially. I know you and Del can do that. Whatever you want to fly: x-wings, a-wings, you could even fly the Corvus around for all I care!”

“The Corvus is not a warship. It has no weapons.” Iden said firmly. “No, Shriv. We can’t, not until-“ Iden lowered her voice when she saw Del walking towards her. “Until we have reason to get involved.” She shut off his hologram before he could protest.

“You told him no, again, didn’t you?” Del asked and crossed his arms.

“What do you want me to say? That we’ll do it? We can’t do that to the crew, Del, and I can’t do it to you.”

“What do I have to do with any of this?” He asked, eyes narrowing and lips frowning behind that beard of his that Iden had grown to endure.

“Nothing. It’s just that-“ she scoffed and folded her arms. “Never mind. I don’t have to explain myself to you.” 

“I’m afraid you do. Before I call Shriv back and tell him we changed our minds.” Del reached out towards the displays of the holotable, prepared to do just that, but Iden rushed forward and stopped him, sliding in between his arms and blocking him. 

“I can’t lose you!” She finally admitted, a bit louder than she’d intended but it worked. “We can’t go out and start fighting- that would be the end of both of us! I don’t want to fight anymore, and you’re- you’re-“

“I’m what?” Del asked in that annoyingly soft voice of his, “say it, Iden.”

“You’re old.” She whispered, leaning herself against his chest. “You’re old, Del. And I don’t want to lose you. I don’t want the last half of your life to be filled with pain and suffering and difficulty.”

He put his arms around her and sighed. “Iden, I’m fine. I’m not going anywhere.” 

With his hands off of the holotable, she pushed him farther away. “It took me while to get used to all...this.” She gestured around her to the Corvus as a whole and wordlessly referred to some other things that had happened aboard it. “I’m not ready to let it go.”

He hummed in agreement. “I guess. I was never that good a soldier anyway- there was a reason I was the tech.” He kissed the top of her head. 

“Let’s not go anywhere, Iden.” He suggested, wrapping his still strong arms around her and leading her farther away from the holotable, towards the gym and their living quarters. 

“Yes, let’s.” She agreed, wrapping her arms around his neck to kiss his handsome face, beard and all.


	4. Rainbow

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Then,just when things seemed hopeless a miracle happened.

After years of a new life, years of living with Del and his simple way of doing things, Iden was beginning to realize that she there were still things about him that she didn’t understand.

The two of them were stark differences in certain ways, like the fact that Iden was impatient and tended to bottle things up while Del was much more the kind of person to talk about his feelings unless it was a extremely sensitive topic.

“I went to the medbay today.” She told him as he fiddled with Dio.

“Why’s that?” He wondered, holding Dio up above his head to look at its underbelly. When she didn’t answer, he looked into her eyes questioningly. “Is something wrong?”

“I don’t think so.” She said, “except for the fact that I’m getting old.”

That made him smile a bit. “You don’t look any different than the first time I met you.”

“Neither do you.” She said, “except for the beard and all this.” She pointed out a few grey hairs and slapped his head gently. “But things are different for me, physically. I am a woman after all.”

“Yes, I’ve noticed.” He joked, and Iden thought back to when he once admitted to her that he had crushed on men as well as women at certain points in his life. But he’d only ever loved her.

Okay, it was time to be honest. Honesty was key in a relationship, even if she did struggle with it, even with him.

“I went to the medbay because I haven’t been sleeping.”

“I could’ve told you that.” Del said, pressing a button on Dio’s head so that he leapt out of Del’s hand and re-attached to Iden’s back.

“No, Del. You don’t get it. I’m tired, and fatigued and I’m getting headaches, and I don’t like it!” A bit startled when her voice raised, Del stood up straight after pushing off the crates.

“I haven’t had a cycle in four months, Del.” Iden took a breath, “and I thought I knew what it meant. But I didn’t.”

Del just waited for her to conclude her talk. He was smart, but when it came to the kind of thing Iden was talking about, he didn’t know much past what secondary school biology class had taught him.

“Somehow... Someway...” Iden looked into Del’s eyes. He was forty-eight years old. Much too old to have his life change like this. Much too old to be fighting in the current war, too. “I’m pregnant, Del.”

“What?” He breathed, weight shifting while he adopted a new stance fitting of a man who was confused. His eyes squinted a bit, and Iden could tell he didn’t believe her. No doubt his mind was flashing back to a decade ago, to the first time she was pregnant and what had happened with Chaol. Slowly, slowly, he began to shake his head and back away.

“Del....” Iden took a step toward him. “This time will be different. I know it.” Tears gathered in her eyes as she came closer. “Please quit running from me. Say something.” _Anything_.

“I- I don’t- I don’t like feeling helpless, Iden. What happened before- I can’t do that again.”

“It won’t happen again!” Iden exclaimed. “We’ll be careful this time. We’ll work together. I’ll confine myself to bed rest if I have to. But I need you with me. And if something goes wrong- which it shouldn’t, at this stage... We’ll get through it again.”

Del was silent.

“Del, please.” At least he had stopped moving. His face hadn’t changed. He didn’t believe her. He didn’t want to believe her.

Wordlessly, Iden took his hand and placed it on her belly. He hadn’t noticed that her stomach had been growing all this time, and she’d only thought it was bloating. But it wasn’t.

When their new baby kicked, Del’s lower lip quivered and he threatened to cry. “Iden...” he whispered, and she surged forward and into his arms. And he held her.

“This time will be different.” Iden repeated, letting him hold her. She’d waited to tell him for so long, until she was out of the first trimester and knew that she could be more confident about nothing going wrong. She turned around and pressed her face into Del’s chest, breathing in his unique scent. “Do you want a boy or a girl?”

“I couldn’t care less. As long as they’re healthy.” Del said and gave her a smile. A genuine smile. “How long until we can find out?”

“When do you wanna know?”

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

Del glued himself to her side after that day. The Corvus took a brief break from cargo shipping and he instead began pampering her. Iden couldn’t remember the last time she’d done anything herself.

But it was cute, the way Del took care of her more than he even did himself. She had to order him to eat and sleep, as he was afraid something would happen again while he slept.

An estimated week before she was due, Iden eased herself down in the chair of the mess and rubbed her ankles. Del was there in an instant. “You okay?”

“She’s elbowing me.” Iden complained, and Del looked just in time to see her belly move. “Trying to learn gymnastics, it seems like.”

“Think I can get her to calm down?” Del asked.

“Oh, please. You only get her more excited.” Iden placed a hand on her belly button and spoke to their daughter. “Hey, Zay. I know you’re in there. Settle down.”

Del laughed a bit when he saw a kick come immediately after that.

“And that’s my bladder.” Iden rolled her eyes and held out her arms to Del, who helped her stand without being asked.

“Why’re you feeling kicks there?” He asked with a frown. “Aren’t her legs supposed to be up top?”

For a moment, Iden blanched. Then she gripped his arm. “Kriff, Del. You’re right.”

“She was head down last ultrasound, right?” He asked.

“Last ultrasound was a month ago.” Iden reminded him. “Who knows what she’s been up to in there. But if she’s not right-side up I’m going to need a c-section. I don’t want to deliver her breech. That’s dangerous.”

“Then let’s not do that.” Del agreed.

“What’s another scar on the list, anyway?” Iden said lightly, but Del could still tell she was apprehensive about the whole thing.

“Hey. It’ll be okay.” He reminded her, rubbing circles onto the back of her hand with his thumb. “I’m right here. Everything’s going to be alright.”

Iden released a breath she hadn’t realized she was holding. “One more week, yeah?”

“One more week.”

One more week became three days, in which Iden began experiencing contractions off and on as well as having an uncharacteristically sudden and slightly humorous urge to repeatedly clean up their room.

One morning, when the pain caused her to double over and lasted for nearly two minutes, she knew that something was different.

“Alright, Zay, you ready to come out?” She asked, wincing as she half walked, half pulled herself to the bed and settled onto it. Del was in the ‘fresher at the moment, but when he exited he was greeted by Iden’s grimace of pain.

“Woah, woah.” He said, crossing the room in a few steps. He knelt at her side. “Is it time?”

Iden nodded, biting her lip. Like a sixth sense, she could feel her blood pressure rising, as it had off and on for the last several weeks.

“Okay. Alright- let’s go.” He helped ease her up and, once her pain ended, take a few steps. She’d been using his boots for the past month or so, because her swollen ankles allowed for little else.

Iden gasped and grabbed onto him, stumbling when she felt the breath escape her and her vision went blurry.

“Iden!” Del cried, falling with her. He took several moments to check on her but from the wild look in her eyes he could tell that she wasn’t in a good way.

“We need to get her out, now.” Iden whispered with fear in her eyes that tore at Del’s heartstrings. Before she could suggest against it, Del lifted her into his arms, still with little effort in his old age. Iden was too unfocused to chastize him anymore.

“I’m scared.” She whispered, into his neck.

“There’s nothing to be scared of.” Del huffed, straining only a bit as he transferred her to the bed in the medbay. Iden glared at him before a contraction took hold again and she cried a bit.

“Okay. Maybe a little bit.” He corrected. His own heart was racing with both kinds of excitement. Excluding the fact that Zay was upside down in the womb and Iden had been getting signs of preeclampsia, everything had been smooth this go round. Speaking of which...

“Hey. We have options. Do you want to stay awake for it or not?” He wiped some of the hair from her face as she bit her lip in pain and thought. Then she shook her head.

“No. I don’t want to feel it while they root around in my gut. It won’t take long, right? And you’ll take care of her, won’t you?”

“Of course. I’ll- I’ll see you in a bit, okay?” He asked when he saw the meddroid approaching with an anesthesia filled syringe.

“Wait-“ Iden said, seconds before it was administered. She took a silent moment to reach out for Del’s face, to hold his chin and smile at him one last time.

Seconds later, she was asleep.

Del discovered soon after why she had decided not to stay awake. “Rooting around” seemed like a good word for it, and he was happy for the sheet that hid the operation site so he could focus on his last few moments before he became a father.

Of course, he’d been a father before then...Del considered himself one from the moment Iden told him she was pregnant with Chaol. And every year after that they still had a bittersweet moment to remember what could have been. If Del hadn’t have failed.

He wouldn’t do so again.

If he were watching the clock, he would have realized that it only took seven minutes from the point of incision to the moment he heard his daughter’s first cry.

Okay, so it wasn’t actually a cry... newborns didn’t have tear ducts. In reality, Zay was just screaming.

Which was fine, because Del did enough crying for the both of them. The human medic, who had joined the crew sometime in the past half decade, held her up and over the sheet that covered Iden’s lower body so that Del could see her face for the first time.

Eyes closed tightly against the lights of the medbay, Zay didn’t exactly look like much, and the fact she was bald certainly didn’t contribute much to her looks either.

But those things didn’t matter to Del. To him, she was the most beautiful thing in the whole galaxy- even if she was screaming so loud he was pretty sure they could hear it on Naboo.

Zay looked like Iden, Del decided once he looked at her face for while longer. The way it was scrunched up in annoyance- Iden’s face looked like that, too.

“Here she is.” Del released a breath he wasn’t aware he was holding when Zay’s cord was cut and she was free to be placed in his arms. The moment Iden woke up, he would give her to her mother but for now- for now he had her all to himself.

“Hello, Zay.” He whispered, holding her tiny body to his chest. Seemingly out of energy, Zay ceased her screaming and opened her eyes instead. Brown, just like Iden’s. Del had called it long before given that his hazel green eyes were recessive.

There was no doubt in Del’s mind that this was Iden’s daughter much more than his.

“Hello.” He repeated, laughing breathlessly as Zay squirmed, fighting against anything and everything of this strange new world. “It’s nice to finally meet you.”

Zay’s tiny face loosened a bit when her eyes met his, as if she suddenly recognized the deep basso voice of the man who talked to her so often. The sound wasn’t as muted anymore.

It was now too loud for a change. Before Del knew it, Zay’s face scruched up again and she screamed some more.

 _Well, at least her lungs are okay_ , Del thought as he wrapped the blanket a bit tighter around her. When her tiny fists grabbed onto his shirt, Del froze as if afraid that any move he made would disturb her more than she already was.

“I think, Zay, I think that you’re the greatest thing that’s ever happened to me.” Del told her, and traced over her tiny knuckles with a pinky. Zay’s undeveloped reflexes grabbed onto her father’s finger and squeezed tightly. He didn’t even realize that he was walking back and forth, lulling her to calm as the rest of the room was cleared and cleaned up.

“Captain?” Asked the medic. Del had momentarily forgotten her name. “Let me clean her up for you- we’ll get her measured, too, make sure everything seems alright.”

A bit reluctantly, Del slid Zay into the medic’s arms and kept one eye on them as he resumed standing by Iden’s side.

“Seven pounds, four ounces, and twenty-one inches long.”

 _Perfectly, beautifully healthy,_ Del thought with a sense of pride.

“Did you hear that, Iden?” He whispered to his sleeping wife. “She’s perfect.”

The next hardest part was when they tried pricking her heel to get some blood to test. Zay did NOT like that one bit, and her next bit of fussing woke Iden, whose eyes shot open as soon as she heard her daughter’s cry.

“Where is she?”

“Over there.” Del pointed to where the medic worked. “She’s perfect, Iden. You did good.”

“We did good.” She corrected, but he shook his head.

“No, Iden. This was all you. You carried her for all this time, and you braved it all.”

Zay’s fussing ended the moment she was placed on Iden’s chest. Suddenly, she was quiet and calm and not anything like she had been for Del.

“I think she looks exactly like you.” Del said as he watched Iden trace their daughter’s head and face and hands. When Iden looked at him questioningly he added. “She was scowling when she came out.”

That, of course, caused Iden to scowl as well in the same manner as their daughter. Then she looked back down. “Well, I think she looks like you.”

“I’d be concerned if she didn’t.” He joked, again. “So how about it? Zay Versio.”

“Versio?” Iden asked, as if she were surprised. “Why not Zay Meeko?”

“It doesn’t have the same ring to it. And we’re naming her after your mother, anyway.”

Iden thought a moment, but didn’t protest. “Welcome to the galaxy, Zay Versio.” She whispered into her daughter’s tiny ears. Del folded his arms around his wife and daughter, and for a moment, both he and Iden forgot about the war raging around them.


	5. Wind

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The fifteen years he was able to spend with her were the most precious of his life.

In terms of life as new parents, Iden and Del were pretty sure they shouldn’t be sleeping this well.

By the limited knowledge they had, Zay was to be considered the perfect baby (though they may be a bit biased). She rarely cried, and seemed to be adapting to their schedule instead of them to hers. At times it worried Iden, and she would wake her up in the middle of the night and feed her to make sure she was getting enough.

During the day, Del walked around with Zay in his arms, her tiny body settled into the crook of his arm and her hat-covered-head in his elbow. She’d yet to grow any hair, and Del worried her head would get cold so he kept a hat on her at almost all times.

“Look outside, Zay.” He told her, angling her so she could figuratively see out the viewport and into the galaxy beyond. “Someday, I’ll take you to see all of those stars.”

He could’ve sworn she smiled at him. Chuckling a bit, Del pulled down her hat a little farther and sat down on a crate, holding her in two arms out in front of him.

“You’re a week old now, dear.” He said after glancing at his holowatch, the time had just changed to be 1556. “How does it feel?”

Zay sneezed, a tiny noise that sounded more like a kitten than a human. He wiped her tiny nose- His nose- and smiled down at her.

“Del?” Iden called, walking up the center of the room. She’d all but stretched the bed rest instructions and instead worked towards losing her baby weight as soon as she could, even if it was just long walks throughout the Corvus or swimming in the indoor pool in the gym.

He turned, and Zay craned her neck as she recognized her mother’s voice. She began to shift slightly, fists flailing.

Del sighed when one of Zay’s gloves fell off of her hand and to the ground. They were only in place because the baby tried to scratch herself, and sported a few marks on her little cheeks and across her eyes.

Iden chuckled at Del’s expense and knelt down to retrieve the glove. She gently slid it back onto Zay’s left hand and gazed at her daughter a few moments.

“It’s looking better.” Iden traced under one of Zay’s scratches and her daughter leaned into her touch.

“How was today?” Del asked.

“Fine.” Iden responded, slipping a hand under Zay’s head and body and taking her out of Del’s arms. Immediately, he began to protest until she shut him up with an inportant observation.

“It’s been four hours since she’s last eaten. That’s too long, Del.”

“I don’t know why she’s not wanting to eat.” Del muttered as he followed Iden back to their room. If Iden had anything to say on the matter, she didn’t volunteer it. In fact, she didn’t say anything else until she was sure that Zay had latched to her bottle and was at least humoring her mother.

“Maybe she’s intolerant?” Del offered. “One of my brothers could never drink milk, even as a baby because of some underlying medical issues.”

“No, I feel like something like that would’ve shown on her tests.”

“I doubt they tested for it, though.”

Iden used her free hand to remove Zay’s hat, gently feeling her head. “I feel some hair coming in!”

“Really?” Del asked, curious, and leaned in to see. His eyes couldn’t pick up anything, though, so he felt around like Iden was and began to grin. He’d been doing a lot more of that lately. To Iden, it almost seemed as if he were aging in reverse.

“I think we should get her to a real doctor.” Iden said, frowning as she lifted Zay’s bottle to eye level. She’d drank about three mL and protested any more.

“Let me try?” Del asked. Up until this point, feeding their daughter had been Iden’s job, even if she wasn’t breastfeeding. It had just been some unspoken decision between them, probably because Del did most, if not all, of the diaper changes without complaint.

“Be my guest.”

Del climbed on top of the bed next to Iden and took Zay in his arms, cooing nonsense to her as he lifted the bottle to her lips. Zay stared at him for a moment, as if she could somehow tell that this was a trick of some description. Scowling like her mother, she shook her head and looked away, fussing.

“So what?” Del sighed over Zay’s screaming, “all our problems with Chaol were before birth and all our problems with Zay will be after?”

“I don’t know, Del. I’ve never done this before!”

He pursed his lips and tried again, holding the bottle to Zay’s lips expectantly, hoping that his eyes were smiling along with his mouth.

“There, now.” He told Iden when Zay finally latched. “See? Just needed a change is all.”

“I thought that humans were creatures of habit?” Iden asked, only a tiny bit jealous that Del achieved what she could not.

“Maybe I’m not a full human.” Del pointed out. “And that makes her a fraction non-human as well.”

“That’s a fat lie, Meeko.” Iden retorted without hesitation. “They wouldn’t have let you into the Empire if you weren’t fully human.”

“I do suppose you’re right. Remember all the scrutiny our friend Lux Bonteri got for having non-human children?”

“Yeah, one of them died for it.” She said bluntly as she watched Zay finish up her bottle. “You’re amazing, Del.”

“I try my best.” He bowed slightly with a flourish, grinning like the first time he’d cracked a joke with her, Seyn and Hask in that elevator decades ago. “Now, wait. How do you do this next part?”

Smiling, Iden showed him how to lay Zay’s head against his upper chest and shoulder and rub her back to help her get all the air bubbles out of her system. She wasn’t much of a spitter-at least, not now- and after a few seconds she was curled up against her father’s chest like she had done shortly after birth.

Del gave a happy sigh. “I love it when she does this.”

Iden hummed in agreement and laid her head on his other shoulder. With almost all of his upper body occupied by them, Del had no choice but to stay in place. But, in all honesty, he didn’t mind.

“I think she’s the best thing that could have ever happened to us.” Iden whispered, and Del leaned down to kiss her hair.

“I’ve been saying that since she was born.” He said by way of agreement. “Even if I was scared, and worried, and even frightened at times, it was worth it in the end.”

“Yeah, definitely would have been a bit better if she’d come a few years earlier, but they say you can’t rush perfection.”

“She certainly is that.” His right hand wrapped around Iden’s body and held her body close. “How was your day?”

“Oh, wonderful. Shed another few pounds.” She said half-heartedly, not wanting to make it seem like she was complaining about having the extra weight in the first place.

“And the scar? Any pain?”

“None at all.” Iden gently touched her belly where said incision was. It was kind of odd to have a bunch of what was essentially empty space hanging off of her.

“Good. My family is healthy, and that’s all I care about right now.” Del pressed another kiss to Iden’s hair, then another to the top of Zay’s head.

She really was the best thing that ever happened to them.

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

It became an unspoken rule on the Corvus: keep your eyes on the floor. Because if you didn’t, you’d often find yourself colliding with or stepping on none other than the Captain’s daughter.

And that made Del Meeko very unhappy.

Fourteen-month old Zay wasn’t showing signs of walking. Iden was convinced that it was because Del carried her too much. Del was convinced that he was carrying her just the right amount, thank you very much.

Zay had figured out pretty quickly that all she had to do was smile in order to get her father wrapped around her pinky finger. Next, she began to call him “dada,” another thing which brought tears to his eyes.

“Dada” had been followed by “Mama”, then “Uh-oh” and “Dee!” (Referring to Dio) and then “NO!”

Besides that, not much of Zay’s vocabulary was distinguishible. But no matter how much it was just babble, Del always seemed to understand her. It was like they had a secret code going on.

With Iden’s insistence, Del began to try and get Zay to walk, and had to quit pampering her to do so. He stopped carrying her, instead, he and Iden would hold each of her hands and try to help her balance on clumsy toddler’s legs.

For the next two weeks, she would whimper and cry and pull at the legs of his pants while saying his name, but Del didn’t budge.

“Dada!” Zay yelled one day and pounded the ground with her tiny little hands. Del just sighed and continued to move about the bridge. As he worked, Zay’s cries grew fainter until they stopped completely. When he turned around, he was just in time to see Zay stand on wobbly feet. Alone, unassisted, there in the middle of the Corvus while the crew and her father looked on.

She looked up and down, as if surprised. Then, when Del dropped to a squat to be eye level with her and held out his arms, Zay squealed and took a step toward him.

A step.

Zay was walking.

“Iden!” Del yelled, as if his voice would carry throughout the whole ship. “Iden! Come look at this! Hurry!”

Del’s yelling startled his daughter and Zay fell forward onto her palms, then pushed up and kept going.

Iden came running just in time to see Zay fall into Del’s outstretched hands and be lifted into the air and spun around, a move that was exclusively reserved for her.

Several members of the crew had witnessed the event as well, and a few even applauded.

“She walked, Iden!” Del exclaimed, twirling Zay again. “She walked!”

This had always been his reaction to any little thing Zay did. And over and over again, Iden found it cute. But this time-

“Show me.” She said, and Del sat Zay down on the ground. “Go on. Walk to mama.” He instructed of her.

Zay wavered a few moments, then opted to fall onto her bum and stay there. Caton laughed out loud from her station but quickly turned back to work when Del glanced her way. Meanwhile, Zay stayed sitting at her father’s feet, looking very smug.

“Come here, Zay.” Iden said, squatting down so she was closer to Zay’s level. “Come to mama!” Even as she said this, Iden shot Del a suspicious glance.

“Come on, Zay, don’t do this to me.” Del whispered and picked her up again, settling her back on her two feet. Zay held onto his fingers with hands, took a few steps, and when his fingers slipped from her grasp she took a few steps towards Iden and then stopped, as if realizing Del was no longer behind her.

“Dada!” She screeched, and executed a perfect one-eighty and toddled back towards him.

“No, no. To your mother!” Del insisted, but it didn’t matter. Iden had seen Zay walk unassisted. He had his pride, at least. He dodged Zay’s advance and doubled back towards Iden, leading Zay to her direction before she plopped down again.

“Alright, I’ve seen enough.” Iden sighed and walked towards Zay, who squealed and attempted to crawl away to no avail. Iden lifted her daughter into her arms and, similar to Del, swung her above her head to make her giggle.

“She’s getting so big.” Iden told Del, later, as they put Zay down to nap. Iden lovingly ran a hand down Zay’s head, once bald, was now covered in long brown locks like her father’s.

“I know.” Del said mournfully. “Next thing we know, she’ll be starting school.”

“Oh, don’t even go there.” Iden said as she dimmed the lights in Zay’s room.

Del’s answering laugh was almost enough to wake Zay. The parents stood there for another few moments. Then, Iden spoke.

“Do you think we could have handled two of them?”

“What?” Del asked, a bit confused as to what she meant.

“Two kids. Do you think we could have handled both Zay and Chaol?”

Del hadn’t ever considered this question. “Yes, I think we could’ve handled both of them. They’d be nine years apart, after all. Why?” His eyes narrowed. “You aren’t pregnant again, are you?”

“No!” Iden scoffed. It seemed like she had only just shed the baby weight from her pregnancy with Zay and she did not want that again. “It’s not possible for me to get pregnant. That question about Chaol was just one I’d always had is all.”

Del hummed and wrapped his arms around her from behind. “Is it possible to miss someone you’ve never even met?”

“Yes. I know it is, because I miss him, too.”

The two of them stayed there until Zay began to stir. Then they snuck off back to their room for some time alone.

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

His workout was getting hard enough already in his old age. Now Del had to do it all with a three year old clinging to his back.

He thought back to the day that had started his and Iden’s want for children, when she’d found him being tackled by them. Now, a laughing Zay clung to his back while he finished a set of pushups.

“Can’t you go see what your mother is up to?” Del asked her, knowing what came next.

Zay didn’t answer, just clung tighter to her father as he finished fifty-one pushups. One for each year he had been alive, because that’s what he’d always done as it was easy to remember.

He sighed and sat up on his knees, unwrapping Zay’s arms from around his neck as she squealed and ran to the front of him. “Daddy, make me fly!” She exclaimed, and Del fell onto his back, already exhausted.

But he always found strength for her. Straining a bit, he took Zay’s hands and lifted her into the air with his legs on her belly. Soon she was “flying” above him.

“I wanna be a pilot like you, daddy!” Zay giggled.

“Remember, I’m not a pilot, sweetheart. Your mother is the pilot. I was just the mechanic.”

“Oh, he‘s much more than that.” Iden said from the doorway. “Don’t listen to him, Zay.”

“I wanna be a mechanic, then!” Zay went on, ignoring her mother.

Del let out a puff of air with effort and put Zay back onto the floor. He took a few seconds and then sat up, looking his wife in the eyes. “Your mother’s right. I was a pilot when I had to be. When we had to get places or escape them or fly with the Rebels. But I’m an engineer, first and foremost.” A sneaky grin came across Del’s features. “She can also tell you how good I am with my hands.”

“Del!” Iden choked and smacked him in the back of the head as he laughed, falling back over. Zay took this as a cue to jump onto his chest, giggling, much too young to understand the crude joke her father had made.

In truth, it didn’t matter to Iden that Zay wanted to be like her father and not her. She was glad her daughter was getting a choice and a say in her future. Neither Iden nor Del had been able to say much in their upbringing.

So, while Del and Zay “wrestled” in the background Iden watched with a big smile on her face, at the same time hoping and praying that Del would stay forever young like this. Iden’s hair had began to grey shortly through and maybe even before her pregnancy with Zay, but Del’s was still dark and void of grey.

He still had that horrid beard, though. Refused to shave it, though compromised with a trim every now and then.

“I don’t want to scare Zay.” He claimed, but Iden knew he was just being difficult. Kids got over seeing their dads without beards eventually. She, however, had forgotten what clean-shaven soldier Del had looked like, once upon a time.

Her daughter’s squeals drew her attention once again. No, it definitely didn’t matter that all Zay wanted to do was be like her dad. It didn’t matter that Zay didn’t look much like her or act like her.

The only thing that mattered, Iden decided, was that their daughter stayed healthy and safe, things that would prove to be very difficult in the upcoming years and the rise of the First Order.

She knew that Del felt the same way.

Suddenly, she saw Zay running for her and had just enough time to prepare before the little girl launched herself into her arms. Del, finally up off of the ground, came over and put an arm around the both of them.

“Daddy said he would take me flying for real!” Zay said excitedly.

“Is that so?” Iden asked, casting a glance at her husband.

“When I’m big enough.” Zay quickly ammended, reading her mother’s face even at a young age.

“See? She knows the rules.” Del said proudly.

“Yes, but do _you_?” Iden wondered, and turned on her heel, switching Zay from her hip to her back. Del chuckled, knowing he was in trouble now, and followed her lead.

Just like he always did.


	6. Calm

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> No prompt for this. Just felt like making an epilogue. Enjoy!

When Del Meeko died, the first thing he realized was that he didn’t feel dead. He could move his arms and his hands without pain. He could look down and see that he wore the same clothes he had died in, but when he put a hand to his face he realized that his beard wasn’t there.

Odd.

It was like he was thirty-six years old again, just recieving the summons that would mean his assignment to Inferno Squad.

The day he met Iden.

Even more confusing was the fact that Del felt drawn in certain directions. Not everyone in this strange new place was people he knew, but some of them he recognized.

He must’ve looked lost, because someone walked over to him. “Del? Del Meeko?”

For a moment, Del didn’t recognize him. But then, his older brother, Cade, wrapped him in a bear hug and then a choke hold and rumpled his hair.

The sad thing was, Del didn’t know when his brother had died. Had he been one of the unlucky troopers of Scarif? Of the Death Star?

“It’s good to see you, little brother.” Cade said. He was a few inches taller than Del, but his shoulders weren’t as broad and his hair was more red than brown. His eyes were blue.

“It’s good to see you, too.” They grasped forearms, each trying to outdo the other. “Is- is Elias here?”

Cade shook his head. He, too, looked young, like he had been last time Del had seen him. Taking a look around, he realized that nobody in this strange new world was particularly old-looking.

“Strange, isn’t it?” Cade asked, noting his confusion. “So what have you been up to?”

He said it so casually, as if they weren’t dead. As if Del hadn’t betrayed the Empire. As if they should still be friends.

“You... you know. You know what I did.”

Cade shook his shaggy head. “No I don’t.”

It then occured to Del that Cade was telling the truth. He really didn’t know. He was dead before Del’s desertion.

_What a strange phenomenon._

So instead of being judged for his past, Del sat down with his brother (apparently, Cade hadn’t located their parents, as this strange place was enormous).

Having indeed died as a soldier, Cade never had a family outside his mother,father and brothers. So he listened, enthralled, as Del recalled memories about Iden and Zay.

Then, suddenly, Del got the strange feeling again. Like he was being pulled somewhere... He turned abruptly, startling Cade. “What is it?”

“I don’t... I don’t know-“ Del said as he began running, “I’ll find you later!” Del pushed through crowds and soon, he was alone. Once again lost.

“I don’t understand.” He said to nobody in particular. “I felt...I thought-“

When he turned again, his eyes settled on a figure with his back towards him. Whoever it was, they were young, with hair darker than Del’s. They were of average height and build- perhaps they’d been some kind of athlete in their past life.

Del must have looked for too long, because when the man turned, he had a disgusted look on his face. “Do I know you?”

“Yes.” Del answered, stupidly, and the man’s eyes narrowed. Like Del had been, he was alone, with nobody around him that resembled him or seemed amiable with him. “Somehow, I do believe we know each other.”

Each of them took a step towards each other. Del discovered that his previous assumption had been wrong, for they were the same height. But the physique was what he’d said previously.

When they were a meter away from each other, Del froze.

Some of Iden’s words came floating back to him. “I know it’s possible to miss someone you’ve never met.”

His eyes widened in realization. Iden’s eyes,and Iden’s nose. Even her expression. Freckles dusted Chaol’s nose and cheeks, barely visible against his skin that was the same dark shade as his mother’s.

“Chaol.” Del breathed, in disbelief.

“How do you know my name?” The man wondered. “Only my parents would know what my name....” He trailed off.

“You’re-“ The man, Chaol, took a breath. “You’re my father?”

“Yes.” Del responded, smiling through damp eyes. He didn’t know what to do next. Laugh, cry; throw his arms around Chaol... maybe all three. “Son, I am so-“

He was interrupted by Chaol running to embrace him. Pressing his face against Del’s shoulder like Zay did. Squeezing like Iden. “Dad.” Chaol said, and that single word broke Del’s heart.

His son.

The one he thought he’d failed and lost forever was here. In his arms.

Maybe dying wasn’t so bad after all.

“Oh, son.” Del of course returned the hug. Last time he had touched Chaol, he had been a cold, lifeless premature baby. Now he was a grown man, roughly twenty-three years old and warm, full of life. “Chaol, I- I don’t know what to say.”

“Start by not apologizing.”

That only made Del break. If he had been better. If he had done better, maybe his and his son’s first meeting wouldn’t be here.

“Okay.” He agreed, wiping his eyes with his sleeve. “You... you look like your mother. Did you know that?”

Chaol shook his head. “I never saw my mother.”

“And your sister.” Del added. “You look like both of them. It’s amazing, really.”

“I have a sister?”

“Yes, you do. Her name is Zay and she’s fifteen years old.”

“Fifteen years?” Chaol furrowed his eyebrows, just like Iden. “It doesn’t seem like it’s been fifteen years.”

“What do you mean?” Del asked.

“Time is different here. I’ve only been here for- oh, wait. I can’t remember.”

Time was fluid, Del realized as he couldn’t recal when his talk with his brother had ended. How long he’d been here. Days, weeks, years?

“I think we have a lot to talk about. And an infinite amount of time to do it.” Del said. “I’ll tell you all about your mother. And your sister. And hopefully- not too soon, mind you- we’ll all be together.”

“Together.” Chaol smiled Iden’s smile.

“I like that.”  
  


<><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

The first thing Iden realized was that she didn’t feel dead. She only knew it was so because her surroundings had changed. Zay was no longer beside her. There wasn’t even a Star Destroyer surrounding her.

She blinked as she registered the area around her. It was full of.... people? She didn’t recognize many of them. But then, as she walked around and scanned faces she began to recall names, and-

“Commander Versio!”

Iden whirled. Who could that be? Nobody she knew recently called her by that name. To everyone she was just “Iden”.

She nearly fainted when Seyn Marana (it had to be her, the resemblance was uncanny) rushed up to her.

Iden had carried guilt about Seyn’s death for years, even decades afterwards. Yet here she was, seemingly okay and-

Seyn seemed especially young when she hugged Iden with the same kind of enthusiasm as Zay.

“Seyn, I-“ Iden began, and was at a loss for words. Nothing, even motherhood could have prepared her for this.

The original Inferno Squad’s youngest member looked at her with her big black eyes. “You don’t have to be sorry. You did what you had to do and completed the mission. I have no memory of it.”

Iden knew that was a lie. Seyn had an eidetic memory. Even in this strange new place, she was positive it still stood. “Yes you do, Seyn. You remember everything.”

“Not here I don’t.” The young woman said. Iden noted that she looked the same as when she died, though Iden herself looked to be about thirty years old.

That’s why Seyn was still speaking to her. There was no reason to hold grudges in this kind of...afterlife.

“Have you seen Del?” Iden asked. Somehow she knew that he was here, even if she had nobody else.

“No. I haven’t seen Del or Hask.”

At his name, Iden stiffened with anger and nearly growled. Seyn stepped back a bit, startled.

“Sorry- I just- I don’t ever want to see him again, is all.”

“Did you two have a falling out?” Seyn asked innocently.

“He killed Del.” Iden said bluntly. “Executed him in cold blood, and then attempted to murder my daughter in front of me. So, yes. You could say we had a bit of a “falling out”.”

Clearly, people in this afterlife had no way of knowing what went on in the real galaxy. That’s why Seyn looked shocked.

“What in the world happened?” She wondered.

So Iden explained. She talked of Operation:Cinder and how she and Del had decided to leave the Empire behind. How they joined the Rebellion and won the war.

Seyn seemed surprised, but admitted that the whole Operation:Cinder thing did seem too similar to the situation that had killed Sadori. So she understood. “I would have done the same thing.”

“After the war, Del and I got married.” Iden went on. “We had a daughter, Zay, and she reminds me a lot of you.”

The younger woman’s eyes widened again in surprise. “You and Del?” She repeated as if in shock. “I could have sworn that Hask was in love with you, not Del.” At Iden’s expression, she quickly apologized.

“How the mighty have fallen.” She decided after Iden finished her tale. “I wouldn’t want to see Hask, either. And I understand you wanting to look for Del. We can do that, if you want. There’s no need to eat or sleep in this world.”

Iden thought it a bit strange, but agreed. Over the expanse of who knows how long, she’d thought she saw Del several times, only to be disappointed. Her mind had to adjust to the prospect of him looking young and clean shaven again.

Then, one day she saw him. The real Del, on the other side of a group of people and she ran for him, calling his name and leaving Seyn in the dust.

“Del!” She cried, and flew into his arms, not caring who saw and who judged.

“Iden!” He responded, folding his arms around her with the same strength she was used to. It took her a few moments to realize she was crying. Del pulled back to look at her and held her face in his hands, wiping her tears with his thumbs.

“How long was it?” He asked.

“A week.” Iden responded, remembering all too well.

Del’s face dropped. “Only a week? Did Hask find you? Iden, I’m so sorry-“

“Don’t you dare, Del. It was I who went after him. But don’t worry- he’s gone.”

“And Zay?”

“Safe.” Iden assured him. “Confused and alone, but safe.”

He gathered her into his arms again.

It was then that Iden saw the two men who had been talking together while her and Del’s reunion occured. In one of them, she saw Del’s chin and nose. In the other, she saw his hair and cheekbones. “Del? Are these your brothers?”

Del smiled and introduced her to Cade, who was three years his senior. But when he turned to the other man on his left, Iden was surprised to see his lip tremble and hear his voice falter.

“Iden, this is-“ Del’s voice wavered. “This is Chaol.”

For a moment, Iden wanted to chastize him about never telling her that they named their son after one of his brothers. But then, she realized that Del had said his other brother’s name was Elias.

“Chaol?” She echoed, seeing now that the reason this man looked so much like Del was because he looked like Zay. And by default, Iden herself.

Chaol smiled the smile that Iden saw in the mirror sometimes. “Hi, mom.” He said, in a voice an octave higher than Del’s.

Iden’s eyes went from Chaol to Del, who smiled sadly.

“You’re so tall.” Iden said before she stopped herself. Chaol, her son -her son!- laughed a bit.

“And you’re just like I imagined.” He responded, charming like his father.

“Chaol-“ Iden felt unworthy to speak his name. “I am so, so sorry.”

Chaol glanced at his father. No doubt Del had told him about how she blamed herself for his death. For the fact that she was unable to keep him alive in her womb. “You have nothing to be sorry about.” He said as if he’d been practicing. “Dad’s told me all about you and Zay. I couldn’t wait to meet you. Well, actually I could, I didn’t want you to die-“ Chaol stumbled over words like she did sometimes, and it made him appear younger and cuter. Right now he looked to be mid twenties.

“I’ve been waiting a long time to meet you, too, Chaol. Ever since I held you in my arms I wished, more than anything, that there was a way we could still be a family.” Iden reached a hand up to her son’s face, felt the warmth there, so different from when she held his tiny, stillborn body in her arms and cried.

“Don’t you realize, mom?” Chaol asked, wrapping his arms around her. “We were always one.”

Iden finally allowed her tears to fall freely. She was dead, for kriff’s sake, but death was so good. She had died and left Zay alone, but was now reunited with Del and the son she thought she had lost forever.

“Yes.” She said, smiling at Del as she laid her head onto her grown up son’s chest, felt his heart beating, even in this strange world of the afterlife. Her husband came forward to hug as well, completing the family unit and Iden sighed happily,closed her eyes and was safe.

Del folded his arms around Iden and almost managed to fit around Chaol as well. He heard and felt Iden sigh and placed his chin on her head.

He may have been dead, but Del was home. And when what had to be years passed Shriv found them. Then what had to be decades after that, Zay joined them, radiant and as beautiful as her mother, (Del wished he’d been there to see her grow up. Meet whoever it was she married, if she even did). Zay and Chaol hit it off immediately, even though he appeared to be younger instead of older than him.

Eventually, Iden re-introduced Del to Seyn, who in turn showed them Sadori, and some others they had known in their previous lives. They never crossed paths with Hask or Admiral Versio, which led them all to believe that there was some kind of standard on being here in this afterlife, and somehow they had fit it.

So after all of time and none at all passed, Del suddenly gathered Iden into his arms and kissed her, slowly and lovingly like they were young again and he was about to get onto his knee and propose.

“What is it?” Iden asked, looking into his eyes.

Del’s only response was to stare right back at her, into her beautiful brown eyes, and tuck a stray hair behind her ear. Even in this perfect place, Iden’s military hairstyle still found it’s faults.

“The storm, Iden.” He said, alluding to Operation: Cinder, which had started it all. He leaned over and whispered something into her ear, and tears gathered in her eyes at his beautiful words.

“The storm is over.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If anyone has some prompts I would love them because Iden and Del deserve all the love. Plus there’s like no content for them so yeah.


End file.
